Ancient East Anglian Weather Almanac

Rediscovered and translated by Pete Jennings   Copyright 2018

Old weather sayings contain a lot of truth, as can be seen in the explanations here:

1. Frost on hawthorn – David Jason will rip his trousers.

2. If you see a cowslip – call a vet.

3. Red sky at night – someone bought a weekend cottage in Southwold.

4. When the wind blows from the East, Baked beans have been a feast.

5. When seaweed is wet – it’s raining.

6. When at first you find the Sun, ignore it and buy a proper newspaper.

7. It only rains once a year in Wisbech – for a whole 11 months.

8. If you can’t see Ely Cathedral from Stuntney, it’s foggy. If you can see it that’ll be foggy soon.

9. The reason why there are April showers is we can’t afford heating bills the rest of the year.

10. (Shakespeare, The Tempest) “When milk comes frozen home in pail” – You’ve bought the giant size McFlurry.

11. If you laid all the weathermen head to toes in a straight line they still wouldn’t point in the same direction.

12. If you hear a Tornado, the RAF are sure to appear.

13. When cows lie down in the meadow it’s a sure sign they’re knackered.

14. Never cast a clout until May is out: if you see that girl May give her a thump for me.

15. The March winds will blow, And we shall have snow The country will stop And broadband go slow.

16. When rooks go to sleep early, you’ve just lost at chess.

17. When the canary flies northwards, Ipswich Town have beaten Norwich again.

18. If you hear the first cuckoo it means that someone has bought an annoying clock.

19. If it rains on St Swithuns Day, it will rain for 40 days more. Or less.

20. John McEnroe is useless at forecasting weather for Wimbledon. When he sees clouds all he ever says is ‘it can’t be Cirrius.’


















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